One Week Without You (December 21, 2024)

Today marks one week since you became an angel, Ali. It doesn’t even feel real as I write those words. The last week has been nothing short of exhausting. Every moment has been consumed with planning, decisions, and the whirlwind of emotions that come with something so unimaginable.

I never knew how emotionally draining this would be. I’ve spent so much time on the phone, answering calls, responding to texts, opening the door to a steady stream of visitors who all want to share their love for you. I’ve been going through the motions, but with everything so busy, I still haven’t had the chance to truly process it all yet.

Each day, I’ve tried to stay awake just long enough to ensure everything gets done exactly the way you would have wanted. That’s been my driving force… to honor you in every little detail. The outpouring of support from family and friends has been incredible. They’ve kept me afloat when I thought I might drown in the weight of it all.

But no amount of help or love can make this feel bearable. At the end of the day, I’m still left to face the crushing reality… you’re gone. And no amount of preparation, no amount of strength, can shield anyone from being completely beaten down by that truth.

Tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest days of my life. Saying goodbye to you feels impossible, unnatural. It’s not something I ever thought would happen… not like this, not now. You were too young. We had so much left to do, so much love left to share.

It feels ironic that the shortest day of the year falls right before we say goodbye to you. Maybe it’s God’s way of reminding me that this darkness isn’t forever. Maybe it’s a sign that light will start to return, little by little, even when it feels impossible to believe right now.

They say time heals all wounds, but I don’t know if I believe that. Time will tell, I suppose. For now, the only thing I know for sure is how much I love you, Ali. No, how much we love you. That love will never fade, not in a year, not in a lifetime, not ever.

Sleep well, my love. You’re forever in my heart… in all of our hearts.