13th Day In Hospital: Prioritizing Comfort And Praying For A Miracle (November 19, 2024)

Today, we received news that no family ever wants to hear. It has been a devastating day, filled with gut-wrenching decisions and moments of quiet reflection on this long, arduous journey. For almost two weeks, doctors and nurses have worked tirelessly to find a way to clear Ali’s blockage without surgery. They explored every possible avenue, every treatment or procedure they thought might offer even a glimmer of hope. But despite their best efforts, the blockage remains.

From the start, surgery was always considered a last resort due to the immense risk it posed to Ali in her current condition. Over the past week, the specialists have shifted their understanding of her situation, concluding that she isn’t just facing one blockage but multiple ones throughout her stomach and small intestine. This realization changes everything. Neither an endoscopic procedure nor surgery is feasible. There are simply too many blockages for bypasses or stents to be effective, and the risks outweigh the potential benefits.

Hearing this felt like the ground was pulled out from under us. We’ve leaned so heavily on the hope that one more procedure, one more treatment, might turn the tide. But now, those options are no longer on the table. To compound matters, Dr. Michael Gibson has made the difficult decision to halt chemotherapy. Ali’s body is too frail, and continuing treatment would do more harm than good at this point.

What lies ahead is not about curing Ali’s cancer anymore. It’s about giving her comfort and peace, time to be with the people she loves most.

Ali faced a challenging decision between two imperfect options. After much deliberation and with considerable bravery, she chose to prioritize her comfort by discontinuing Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) line in favor of having a permanent fluid drain tube installed. This choice means she will no longer receive nutrients through the Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) line but will also avoid the painful fluid buildup that has caused her significant discomfort.

The Interventional Radiology team is currently in the process of placing the drain, a step that should allow Ali to come home soon. Once discharged, she will transition to hospice care. This doesn’t mean we are giving up on her. It means we are choosing to honor her wishes, to give her the best quality of life in the time we have left, and to surround her with love, peace, and as much comfort as possible.

Since the day we started this battle against stage 4 stomach cancer, I’ve tried to approach these updates with honesty and clarity, sharing the facts as they come and avoiding unnecessary embellishment. But today, as I write this, my heart is heavy in a way I can barely put into words. Ali’s strength, grace, and resilience throughout this fight have been nothing short of extraordinary. She has faced every challenge with bravery that has left me in awe. She is my hero, and she deserves so much more than what this cruel disease has dealt her.

Still, we are not without hope. Though the hope of a cure has slipped away, we hold out for a miracle, because Ali is someone worth believing in. We’ve seen the impossible happen before, and we cling to the belief that, in some way, light will find us again. For now, we focus on the moments we can still share as a family, on the laughter that sneaks through even the darkest days, and on the love that surrounds her.